


but you come back to what you need

by squidnie



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy and Clarke have a Talk, F/M, that’s it that’s the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 05:20:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidnie/pseuds/squidnie
Summary: “We should wake them up.”Even as Bellamy says it, it feels wrong. Sure, it has technically been one hundred and twenty years since he’s seen his friends, but it only feels like a well-needed nap and he doesn’t miss them.Post-season 5 Bellarke talk.





	but you come back to what you need

**Author's Note:**

> I know this has already been done a million times, but here’s my take.
> 
> Title from This Love by Taylor Swift

“We should wake them up.”

Even as Bellamy says it, it feels wrong. Sure, it has technically been one hundred and twenty years since he’s seen his friends, but it only feels like a well-needed nap and he doesn’t _miss_ them.

He misses Clarke, though. It’s a feeling he can’t explain even to himself in his own mind. Her presence right next to him is like a physical pressure in his chest. Like his heart is expanding and contracting at once and it hurts, but it hurts in that way that he knows he’s alive and maybe that pressure will break soon and leave behind peace.

“Do you want to get that drink first?” is what she says to him. Bellamy doesn’t think about his answer before he’s nodding.

Jordan tells them where to find food, and thirty minutes later they’re on the bridge with a cup of water between them. The new Earth keeps getting incrementally closer through the window. The two suns shine bright, hopeful.

“It was good for them,” Bellamy says finally. Clarke looks at him, and he continues. “Monty and Harper. They wanted peace. This way, they were sure to get it.”

Clarke only nods before looking out the window again. Bellamy takes the opportunity to simply look at her in a way that he hasn’t been able to for, well, years. She looks well-rested after her cryosleep, at least, which is more than he can say for the entire time he’s known her. Her shoulders aren’t tense. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was relaxed.

“Madi said you radioed me.” The words are out of his mouth before his brain catches up. He hadn’t planned on mentioning it, but he’s curious. Curious and a little angry and hopeful and more than a little bit heartbroken.

Clarke’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly. “She never was one for secrets.”

Bellamy almost smiles. He says nothing, waiting for Clarke to go on, and after a moment she does. “Every day. I didn’t know if you were alive. I didn’t know if you could hear me. But it felt like I was talking to you. Like I wasn’t alone.”

“You weren’t,” Bellamy replies immediately.

Clarke shakes her head. “When Madi found me, she saved me. But you saved me first. The thought of you hearing me, coming back to me, that saved me.”

Whatever Bellamy had been expecting, that wasn’t it. The air punches out of him and he reminds himself to breathe. He saved her. For so many years he thought she was dead— he left her, he closed that door, he left her to die— and she was there, talking to him every day to stay sane and alive and it was his fault. He did that for her. He wasn’t even sure if it was the admission he wanted, but it was words of love all the same, in some way, and it was more than he thought he’d ever have.

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” he whispers. He cuts her off as she tries to argue. “About Madi. I didn’t know what else to do. I was going to keep her safe.”

The expression on Clarke’s face is so open and full of love that it’s another punch to his chest. “We’ve both done things that we wish we didn’t have to in order to save the ones we love.”

She means Madi. She doesn’t know that he thinks of Clarke.

Almost in unison, they turn to face the window again. A soft silence envelops them as they study the planet outside of the ship. It looks like it could be Earth, maybe. But Bellamy thinks that maybe he doesn’t want Earth again. Earth was pain and violence and whatever the hell they wanted. This new planet could be more. Peace. Hope.

The new planet could be a second chance with Clarke, Bellamy thinks as he looks at her. He studies her profile for a long moment. Her eyes are wide, glassy with shed and unshed tears. Her jaw is set, betraying the determined mindset she’s no doubt in as she watches out of the window and Bellamy watches her. There are so many things he wants to say to her in this moment. He can feel the words tumbling around in his head, his heart, trying to sort themselves out and communicate what he’s feeling but they’re stuck in his throat and can’t squeeze past the lump that’s keeping him quiet.

“We should wake the others,” Clarke says.

Their eyes meet as she looks at him. They should wake the others. They should tell everyone about the cryosleep, the new planet, about Monty and Harper and Jordan and heartache and hope. They should wake Raven and figure out how to get the ship down. He should wake Octavia, tell her that he hopes she can find peace on the ground this time. Murphy and Emori and Echo— they should be awake for this, too.

He reaches across the empty space between them and takes Clarke’s hand. “Can we just be us for a little while longer?”

Clarke looks at him, one corner of her lips turning upward. “Yeah. We can do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m thinking about making this a series? If I have the time/inspiration for more. We’ll see.


End file.
